Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mr. Big writes another chapter of How Can I Embarrass My Owner





We had an new hot water tank put in this morning.  All installed, up and running by 1pm.  Old tank in the Windstar, Mr. Big jumped in his seat and off we go to the scrap yard. 

Before reaching the main roads, Big was on the floor shaking in his boots. The water tank had broken away from it's barricades and was rolling from side to side in the back of the van when I turned corners. 

By the time we got to the scrap yard, he was trying to crawl under my legs. I got to the loading dock, was directed to the 'other' yard for scrap appliances. Back to the car, down two drives, no big deal.............. unless you have a dog crawling around the floor trying to under your feet.  Got to the scale without incident, semi in front of me and behind me. I can't move; Big is now between my feet, I can't reach him, can't find the gas or brakes, dog in the way, slam car into park.  I open driver side door, to get out and grab said dog and he bolts from the car into the middle of the scrap yard!!

EVERY VEHICLE IN THE YARD STOPS DEAD!! Big decided it was time to play "catch me if you can".  Several of the semi drivers jumped out of their trucks to help with the 'catch', by this time the office people were hanging out the windows watching the chase and the guy on the forklift just kept driving along watching the circus.  Big finally gave up, went belly up in the middle of yard and three of us dove on him. 

Put said dog back in car, weigh in, dump water heater holding said dog so he wouldn't take off again, weigh out of scrap yard.  They flag me into the office.  I'm really ready to crawl under a rock somewhere.  Park car, lock said dog in car, roll up windows so he can't escape that way. 
 Sheepishly walk in office, they want to know what kind of dog I have.  I tell them, a dead one when I get home. 

They hand me a receipt for the water tank, I have to redeem it at the little building outside, scan bar code and it spits out money. MONEY?? What money?? Are they paying me for the entertainment value?? I hand the receipt to the good Samaritan behind me (driver who joined the 'chase') I couldn't get out of that crap yard fast enough. Said dog was glued to his seat all the way home, he seemed to be smiling....................

9 comments:

Sue said...

Aren't they cute? We had a game of 'ring around the UPS truck' one day when Samba was little. The driver and I were both trying to catch her. Finally the mail lady threw herself on the ground and started making weird noises. Samba couldn't resist and had to check it out. Caught!

Amy (lilme2_99) said...

ROFL!!!
Oh! What a good giggle I had reading this! Thanks for sharing such a humorous, yet VERY "real" story about the chaos life brings us sometimes.

SubeeSews said...

Gotta love your pets when they "help" with chores.
I hear President Obama is getting a Portuguese Water dog from a rescue facility. They look like such a happy dog. Also at Keepsake quilts don't they have an older and younger dog too?
Today I had to give my Persian a mini bath. Somehow she had "poo" all over one side of her tail. She came to show me. The odor is what I noticed first. So out came the baby shampoo and I filled up the kitchen sink. She is so good about baths. She does not like the hair dryer though. I let her out of the bathroom with only a slightly dried tail. She has a big job ahead of her getting that licked straight!

Mary said...

I had that happen with my Tebetan Terrier, Kitsi. The backyard gate was not well latched and when she junped on the gate to smell the handle the it popped open. I was so glad I was in the yard. My problem is she is deaf and you can't use hand commands when she is running away from you. I chased her around the neighborhood for ~30 min. Kitsi finally tired and went belly up. She was about nine months old at the time. I was so glad it was early afternoon and there was no traffic.

Linda said...

LOL!! OhMyFreakishWord! LOL!!
Just too cute! Just too funny! My belly hurts from laughing!
Yup, gotta love furbabies!
Linda

BitnByAQuiltingBug said...

I'm with ya! One of my dogs actually locked me out of my van while I was getting gas...of course the keys were in the van! Took me forever to get him wound up enough to step on the window button and roll it down so I could get back in. Other people joined in, banging and knocking on the windows to wind the dog up! I was so embarrassed! Is this why we have them? Thanks for the memories!
Regina

erica_saunders said...

What a scamp! I can sympathize with the story completely. The visual images were so clear, thanks for the great laugh.

Erica Saunders
http://AR-HR.com
My blog: Animal Rights or Human Responsibility; Choosing what makes us human.

Persephone and Buster said...

a friend of mine once said....our dogs make us humble...
ahem.. boy is she right on.
the hu-momm of the pack of 3 kerry blues, theBUSTER, Ms.Blue & Ms.Persephone

sharon said...

Thank you for one great laugh. We once experience a toy poodle who jumped out and landed at the bottom of the container we were dumping in - - stopped all the dumping til someone went down at retrieved her from her 20 foot jump, so I can truly "enjoy" this with you